Sometimes I wonder how much stress at work is 'normal.' When people say they have stressful jobs, I sometimes wonder HOW stressful. How do you quantify that? Is it ER surgeon stressful? Too much paperwork and not enough time stressful? Crazy coworker stressful? Is there a different stress for each of those situations, or does it just plain boil down to about the same?
Right now I work in an environment of metrics, proving your worth, setting the bar higher-- the company is facing tougher times than they've ever seen, and the atmosphere is that of raised expectations across the board. More business, higher customer service levels, more dedication, more time. We're family owned, and I wonder if that sometimes makes a difference in the attitude of our leadership. If it were my business, I suppose I'd be the first one up early, staying late, jumping through hoops and really, truly CARING... and expecting everyone else to do and feel the same.
I care, I do. I care as much as I would, I suppose, about any place I worked. But I guess, for me, I've never found what I do to be a real PASSION (does anyone with a 'normal' job? ... a post for another day.) I don't stay late because I'm engrossed in something, I don't bring work home on the weekend because I would just love to get it done. For me, my job is just something that I'm good at, that I get paid for, and that I'm relatively fine and comfortable doing.
Most often, I work a pretty standard 8-5, with a few deviations for late night meetings or other things. The other day, we actually got some exciting new business, which was really great. Unfortunately, late one afternoon, we got notice that something came up that prevented our employee from starting as we expected. So instead of leaving an apologetic message or sending an email, as usual... new protocol recommends that I actually show up in person to our client, at his start time, and explain the situation and apologize myself. So there I was-- showing how high I could jump-- standing outside a locked door in the pouring rain at 6:45 am.
I know this is a normal start time for some people, and that those same people may actually not get out until 5:30 or later... like I did that day. It doesn't happen all the time, but it sucks sometimes. I'm torn between the rightful 'buck up' attitude my company requires right now, and the "this sucks" selfishness I feel too. What's worse, is that I feel bad even complaining when I HAVE A JOB right now... But I'm tired. I'm tired when I wake up, I'm tired when I get home. I'm tired of dealing with crap and sometimes crappy people. I'm tired of communication that sucks and lack of support. I'm tired of being the one who's 'on top of of it' all the time.
This sentiment comes in waves, sometimes agitated, sometimes fine. Sometimes I think that I've got it pretty lucky- I work close to home, I'm good at what I do, I get paid a fine amount of money. I don't have to work weekends or many evenings, and then I feel more okay about things. And then sometimes I wonder what else I could do. Maybe something more flexible and creative? Something more fun? Work from home? ( would I be bored... stir crazy?) Then, I think of dealing with change, uncertainty, probably less money... and that sounds like even more stress.
Maybe all I need is a vacation day... or week. It has been months...
And seriously, not to be all college-essay here, but I just happened to wander to an MSN poll, and I just saw that more than half of workers feel that they work under a great deal of stress and 77%, yes seventy-seven percent of workers feel burnt out at their jobs.
I can't be alone here...
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