A letter... Three years ago today.

Hi Sweet,

So shitty day overall...

1. Dr's appt.. more blood drawn, but not dying. They're checking the ole' liver, which I think is fine since I can't feel anything and platelet count, to make sure that my immunity is going back up.... Dr. Laura Oswald, who is honestly not a day over 27, felt my spleen and decided that I was fine and not going to die. But just incase it gets worse, wrote me an order for a CT scan that I can cash in if it the pain gets worse/persistant, etc. So that was fun. And she also said that I am probably dehydrated due to fevers, so I need to make sure I drink tons of water-- thus explaining aforementioned bathroom noticements.

2. Driving back to work from drs..... Pulled over for speeding. Yeah. I couldn't really contest it-- the cop was nice and I was going 50 in a 35. But it was on Roosevelt Rd-- not like some little side street. Whatever. I'll pay the stupid 75.00 fine and since I'm a good girl and have never gotten a speeding ticket before, if I don't get another ticket in 90 days, they'll take it off my record. Good, but that sucked. And I have to change the address on my license. He could've written me a ticket for that one too, but decided to spare my sorry self... I didn't even get a word in edgewise to explain my sad predicament-- just done with serious dr's appointment, nervous, driving back to work, ad lib tears... etc. oh well. I was totally unnervous when he pulled me over. I guess I knew that was coming...

3. Jamie was a raving bitch. The office was totally swamped when I got back-- making me feel bad that I was at dr's appointment/got to sleep in-show up late... while they are going crazy. So she's already frustrated and takes it out on me... just being overall rude and hurtful and whatever.... Makes me very frustrated/stressed out... feeling like I can't do anything right... And also head swirling from tiredness/"being talked to" that I really have nothing intelligent or helpful to tell her in my defense. Whatever. Remembering that it's just a JOB. And I'm a smart, nice good person and she shouldn't make me feel like crap. Sometimes harder to do than say.

3a. Jamie calls me on my way home from work (because, despite grave illness, I stayed late to do extra shit and help the office catch up... befitting, I think, after she yelled at me for 'not supporting my staff') to APOLOGIZE for being "Stern." And that we need to refocus on the positive and blah blah. So we're meeting for 20 mns or so before the mgrs meeting tomorrow. Pray that I'll have something articulate, helpful, and thoughtful to say to her so she can understand the frustration on my end. Because I really get lost for words with her. and yeah.. how CRAZY is she???

So yeah. That was pretty much my day in a nutshell. Now I'm tired, my eyes are burning, and I think my spleen is telling me that I should go to bed. So we'll see.

xo,
a